Dream #9:
I met up with some mutual friends between Alex and I, only thing is I have never seen these people before! They were trying to call him to ask him if it was OK that I show up at the party. “I’ve left several messages and he hasn’t called back,” the first guy said. We met up with my friend Jennifer and she was going so we figured it would be OK if I went. The dream shifts and Alex is no longer living with Aaron, Ramon, and Joe; instead he is back at the Lenora Dorms. It’s a gigantic studio with four people and Alex is the only boy. There are four beds, one against each wall and posters pinned up everywhere. He is still not talking to me, just pacing around the room back and forth from the bed to the bathroom to his chest of drawers. Alex finally sits down on the bed as I play with his new black puppy and rub his belly. Alex gazes at me with his clear powder blues in the same adoring manner he used to.
Dream #10:
Two men were fighting over me, one blond and one eastern Indian. I was drawn more toward the blond boy at first, his name was Audrey, and when I figured out he had no real interest in me I swayed more toward the eastern boy. We went to some competition on the beach for couples. I sat down on the beach blanket with him and began to talk about love when I suddenly decided to play with my iPOD and check my e-mail. Scrolling through my e-mail I saw a Facebook message from Alex. I opened it and the first line read, It’s not because I’m uncomfortable. It’s because I still love you. When I tried to read the rest of the message the letters became blurred and/or scrambled. When I looked up from my iPOD Alex was standing front of me; same stoic look and his hands in his pockets. I walked over to him, took his hand and we talked away staring into each other’s faces.
The dream shifts and we are walking on a dirt road toward an old manor, but we are not alone. A girl is with us, she is not very attractive, frizzy curly brown hair and very plain. We are walking around the court yard and looking at the horse stables. I say twice how strange this place feels, “Something happened here,” I keep saying. I see a wooden door that leads to the back of the manor. We walk through and find a patio and garden surrounded by an iron fence that overlooks the valley. There is a telescope to peer through so you can see between the tall trees and look past the vast green field toward the mountains. We walk along the patio and look in the big white windows and see an old couple sitting at a table eating breakfast. The three of us walk inside and find to our left is a diner and right in front of us is a lobby; the manor is a hotel. The lobby was full of couches of all colours and sizes. Alex and I are drawn to a 70’s style couch with wooden arms, rattan back and mustard yellow cushions. There are little yellow flowers connected to green vines and leaves delicately painted on the arms of the couch and I run my finger across them. Then I turn to Alex and say, “You know what you have to do now don’t you.” Alex stares a head and says, “Yep, I have to choose you or her.” “Yep,” I say. Alex looks at his feet and then at me and says, “I choose you.”
We get up and begin to walk out, but when I turn around after leaving the house I am alone. I stare at the door and see it begin to rattle, the door seems to be locked from the outside! The door continues to rattle violently and then the old man and Alex burst through the door as if they had been trapped inside for hours but they are both smiling. Alex and I again grab each other’s hand and walk back down the dirt road as the sun is setting. Only problem is we are still not alone, the girl is still with us and she is holding his other hand. The dream shifts again and the three of us are sitting at a bistro table and the girl is trying on several pairs of funky sunglasses. The type of glasses you would see Elton John wearing back in his disco days or the kind of sunglasses I would wear in general. They all looked ridiculous on her and I blatantly point out, “Those glasses would look better on me.” Alex says to her, “Why don’t you just wear a pair of normal glasses instead of something that isn’t you?”
The dream shifts one last time and we are in the house I grew up in back in Yakima. Alex and I are sitting in my bathroom talking and I walk out to the living room to find the girl there again, sitting in my great grandfather’s rocking chair. Only this time she is different, she has shoulder length blond hair and is quite pretty. She is angry with me and asking me, “How could you take him from me?” I sat down on the ottoman and while eating a banana I apologized and then began to explain how you don’t condemn or give up on the people you love.
